healed.

Ebenezer, not only a cool word, but a cool meaning.

It means STONE OF HELP.

"Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between

Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying,

'Thus far has the Lord helped us.''

Today I was thinking about my life.

And I realized something... that the story my life tells is one of healing, and a story of God's faithfulness.

I also realized that not many people know my story, and though my life isn't super interesting, I think that's a shame... because God has done a lot of great things in my life, and maybe if i tell you what he has done, you might see His heart for you as well.

I'll start from the beginning:

I was born in August of '91, and immediately my parents knew that something was different about me... I looked different. My tongue & chin were larger than normal and the doctor thought I might have Down Syndrome. After examining further, they found that there was a tumor underneath my tongue, called a Lymphangioma, that linked from the back of my neck all the way around the left side of my chin. The tumor was not cancerous and was made up of lymph nodes. It made my tongue and chin very large... but I began to grow up and for a few years the tumor didn't have a huge effect on my life. I could eat, speak, drink... like anyone else, I just looked different.  When I was 3, one day the tumor began to swell, and i was taken to the hospital because it could easily swell & cut off my air supply. My parents found out that I would have to have part of my tumor removed, the operation is extremely risky, especially at a young age... but they knew it had to be done. Everyone related to me began to pray and pray and pray and have others pray for me as well, and successfully, the operation removed most of the tumor from my body. The fact that I made it through that operation was a miracle and that increased the faith of my family. I recovered & learned how to speak and eat all over again and thankfully, I lived a normal life and the tumor never interfered with my life except for when I get sick. To this day the remaining part of the tumor still swells up to help my body fight infection.

     Fast forward about 13 years... when I was 16, I went on a mission trip to Cambodia for a month and then to Mexico & during that time I saw and experienced so many cool things, all things that God was doing... I saw people come to believe in God for the first time, I saw people healed from sickness, I saw people changed. In turn, my life was changed. The day I returned home it was like my whole body just crashed... I was so sick and once again, my tumor began to swell. I remember shivering through that night as my body was overcome with sickness while I slept. The next morning my tongue and chin were so swollen that I couldn't speak, eat, or even drink. I communicated through writing, and after a day of intense pain, I begged my mom to take me to the hospital. I remember walking in the hospital and having people glance at me from the corner of their eye and immediately looking away. It actually made me laugh, because I'm sure I looked really strange with my tongue hanging out of my mouth. After an hour or two in the waiting room, I finally saw the doctor, who immediately hooked me up to an IV and began running a number of tests to find out what was wrong with me. The only thing I remember is pain, but I know I was in that examination room for a very long time. I was told that I had a number of things wrong with my body that was causing my tumor to swell so badly. Staph infection, strep throughout my body, septic blood, and dehydration... those are the things I remember.

     I left that day with pain killers and plans to return back the next day. The pain killers wore off very soon. Too soon. I remember sitting in a chair in my living room, looking at my dad and writing notes to communicate with him. I remember telling him that I either wanted God to heal my body or just to let me die because I was in so much pain. I didn't understand, I had just spent a month overseas seeing God do amazing things, I KNEW He was completely able to heal my body... but obviously He hadn't, at least not yet, and there was a reason why I was in such pain. So I continued to pray that God would heal me. An hour or two later, a friend showed up at my house with a milkshake for me. Honestly, I was a little frustrated because I hadn't eaten in days... She came and sat by my side and asked if there was anything she could do for me. The only thing I knew to do was to pray, so I put my hands together and motioned for her to pray over me. As she prayed, I fell asleep and when I woke up she was gone and I felt SOOO much better, I could drink water! I fell back and asleep and woke up again, and felt even better than before! By the next morning I could eat and even speak a little bit. At that time I had wanted to die and be with God. That had seemed so much better than the pain. I believe wholeheartedly that the Lord healed my body that day at my house.

    The fact that I am alive today is a miracle. My life. The breath I just took. The fact that I lived past 3 years old. The fact that I lived past 16 years old. The fact that God has allowed me life.... it's all a miracle.  & let me tell you... God has not only healed my body. God has also healed my heart. When my heart was shattered in a thousand pieces after looking for satisfaction in relationships and not in HIM, when I'd pretty much hit rock bottom... I looked to God for healing and with no reluctance at all, He took my heart and healed it. He put it back together again, and with the Truth of His Word, He showed me what it meant to be loved, to be healed by Him once again.

     When I think of where I could be... To think that I could be dead, I could've gone from one relationship to the next, trying to patch up a broken heart... And to see the truth: that I am HERE, I am ALIVE, I am whole and complete in Christ alone, the fact that God has healed me in a number of ways - I know that He must have a plan and a purpose for my life. There is a reason for the miracle that is my life. God has a way of using seemingly hopeless situations and futures to show His character and His goodness, to show that He is GOD.  I have no idea what kind of struggles, situations, and obstacles I will face in the future, but I know I am not alone, my God cares for me. It's so obvious. I also have my past and my life as an Ebenezer, a constant reminder of God's faithfulness in my life, so that in the future when all I see is hopelessness, I can remember that God has been faithful up to now. His faithfulness never ends.

     There's a great chance that I don't know who you are or what exactly you're going through, but I do know that my God is extremely huge and He cares for you. He cares about your well being, your health, your heart, your soul, your future. He loves you & I know He has a plan and a purpose for your life. I hope the story of my life will serve as a reminder to you, as well, that He is REAL. That He is GOOD. And that He still works in lives today.