how they will know.

". . . L o v e o n e a n o t h e r .

As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

By this everyone will know

that you are my disciples,

if you love one another." - Jesus

 JN 13.34-35

furious love.

we are so so so loved.

truly.

we have a Father that is so freakin' crazy about us. He loves who we are. right now.
He isn't living to love the future us, waiting for us to be who we will be in a year, ten years...
He is in love with who we are right this very minute.
in all of our mess.
He never loves us less than He does right now. He never loves us more than He does right now.
all the love that He has, He has for us right now.
we are His kids.
His little snotty nosed, scabby kneed, attention starved kids who need our Father's lovin'.
we can ask him for things we want, even if we won't always get them.
He loves when we ask. He loves when we come to Him.
when we need it, He disciplines us.
when we hurt, He hold us.
because He loves us.
He really loves us.

there are a lot of His kids out there that don't realize they are his kids. and i'm one of them.
i've realized it lately.
we spend a lot of time striving to be close to Him. striving to hear His voice. striving to be better.
striving to be more disciplined, more holy, to pray more, to read more, to spend more time at church, to volunteer more time, to be on staff at a church... we strive so hard.
i think part of that is rooted in the fact that
we do not know who we are.
we keep striving striving striving 
to be something that we already are.
we are His children.
His beloved sons & daughters.
we don't have to try. because that is who we are.
we need to chill out, to sit for even a moment and enjoy it. to abide.

we are deeply, passionately, furiously loved 
by a crazy loving God.
that's who we are.

we are loved.

listen up.

you'll like it.

you're welcome.

xoxo

it is complete.

that's right!

my application is done.

finally finished the last 11 essay questions just today & emailed those bad boys off right away.

so now, 

we wait!

i'll keep yall posted.

Other news...

i realized i haven't posted any news about my friend David lately, 

(click here for his update page, it has all of the details.)

he still really needs your prayers, so please pray if you think about him! 

i went on a little roadtrip with the James twins this past weekend. we had free tickets to the waterpark, but after one ride, we got rained out! (how does that happen? haha) but we still had an awesome time, of course. we made sure to hit up krispy kreme before heading back home. :) i love me some James sisters.

so before i came back home, i got to take some photos for my friend Jesse (that i went to India with) and his fiance Jenni. :) i like those two. they're fun & they just love each other. anyway... here are a couple of them. i'll post more later.

aren't they cute together? 

:)

anyway. that's all for now. 

thanks for reading.

have a happy wednesday.

xoxo

ps. congrats to my friends who started SBS yesterday... so excited for you!

life is good.

do i say that too much? i feel like i say it all the time, but it's true...

the past few weeks back home have been great.

i applied for a staff position at YWAM a couple of weeks ago...

my application isn't finished yet, but i should hopefully find out within a couple of weeks whether i get accepted or not. of course, i'm hoping i do! :)

but whatever happens, i know i'll be where God wants me to be, & how can i be sad about that?

i've been realizing lately that who i am is not defined by where i am, what i'm doing, what my calling is, what job i have, what people think about me, or what i think about myself. i am not defined by any of these things.

i am simply...
beloved.  

God's beloved daughter.

wow. that's good enough. for me, that means if i don't end up in ywam in January, okay. if i do, awesome! if i work in ministry, sweeet. if i wait tables again (hopefully not), cool. it just simply doesn't matter, because i am not defined by my location or my occupation. i am who i am in the Lord's eyes. my life & identity is HIM.

that's such a good thing to be learning, because it just gives you peace no matter where you are or where you're headed...

& that's what i am - full of peace.

m e m o r i e s . . .

a lot of things caught up with me yesterday & today.

it's the first time i've felt truly sad since i got back, but honestly, i'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner.

today i was thinking back over everything: leaving home in april. saying goodbye to my dad & meeting my fellow students for the first time. the weeks of snow & watching soccer games. the weeks of lectures & deep discussions & so many laughs with new friends. i thought of our trip to Seattle & the homeless man i got to talk to. i thought of outreach prep & how we always ended up dancing for some reason. (?) i thought of India... wow. India. so much happened in India. i thought of David's accident- that day we were just walking & suddenly so many things changed. i thought about the days after that & how God literally carried us through that next month & a half. i thought of all the little indian slum kids, the older ladies i fed & took to the bathroom, the things i saw, the people i met, the things i saw God do... (how can you have such mixed emotions about one period of time? such sadness, yet such joy. it doesn't make sense sometimes...) i thought of waiting in hospitals & the taxi rides & the cool volunteers at the mother teresa homes. i thought of flights & visiting David in Seattle on our way home to Montana & how joyful that day was because we were all together again. i thought of Flathead lake & the mile walk down to the docks & of course, the people i went with. i thought of coming back home & how i now have friends scattered all over the globe who share the same story that i have to tell. a story of how amazing God is. i thought about the fact that we're all still learning, growing, healing & experiencing God. we're all still continuing our journey. this was all just the beginning of something that God has started & that we've jumped into.

{ my heart is so full. }

it's full of joy, love & an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness that God led me through all of that. wow. yeah... all of it was a huge blessing. & now i am who i am today because of how i experienced Him & how He changed me during that time.

i know the same God who gave me the last 5 months of life has now given me this beautiful life back home & i have so many memories, lessons, laughs & experiences waiting for me here. i'm already enjoying it. i'm already discovering it. God is cool like that.

see? life is just... good.
everywhere i go, life is good.
because HE is good & He is always with me,
showing me what life is like when i belong to Him.

xo

busy bee.

hello, lovely people.
i'm still alive & back home. if i haven't seen you yet, email or call me, we'll get together & catch up.


the past few weeks have been great. i'm enjoying life & getting to do a lot of things i love to do.
it's kept me very busy & very happy. 

i'm perfecting my cookie-making & my crafty skills. i've learned to sew, painted a canvas, decorated my room. it's so much fun. 

here's the table i re-did for my room. :) 

a little baking action...

& of course, anabelle is always nearby. she likes cookies...

life is fun. life is good.

xo