what a great Thanksgiving.

pics:

 cutest. kid.

 table settings.

 gooooods.

 oh, Gidget. :)

 fire. & my knitting.

 geese.

 cousins. <3

 kamryn.

 adison.

 avery.

 love this pic.

 finished my first cowl/loop scarf! :)

love these girls!

xo xo xo

travels.

Finally talked to YWAM.

 A girl named Makenzie and I have been playing phone tag for almost a week now. 

I finally called her on my break  last night. 

Man, oh man. I'm excited. She prayed for me. Prayed that God would begin preparing my heart for what I was going to learn and experience because it's going to be an intense school. She prayed for my family and friends and against the enemy. It made me more excited to get there. Thinking about day 1 there kind of makes me anxious. Just being ALONE in a completely foreign place and no chance of running back home. haha. I'm praying God prepares me even for that. :)

We're on our way to visit family for Thanksgiving. I'm ready to see my cousins and grandparents! i'm ready to wake up to the tv playing the Thanksgiving Day parade and smelling the turkey in the oven. Don't worry, I'll take some photos. I hope to run and shop, too. :)

That's all for tonight. 

xo xo xo

rae.

i love my sister.

watching Christmas With the Kranks with my sis right now.
i love my sister. man. she's been my best friend my whole life.
a lot of people never get to have a sister that is also a best friend.
that definitely makes me blessed.
i always have someone to watch silly movies with.
and talk to on the way home from hanging out all night.
and someone that always tells jokes that make me laugh.
and someone that truly cares about my life.
i am blessed.

on another note, i'm going to be up editing photos all night.
i've taken a really long time getting these out.

meet Karlee. she is gorgeous:

xo xo xo

one man's junk = another man's treasure.

finished up our lovely 2 family garage sale.
we made a good amount of money for our trip to se asia. :)
it's getting closer and closer.
okay, i'm pooped. it's nap time...

xo xo xo

school might be the death of me...

this morning i had an 8am anatomy and physiology test on all of the muscles of the body.
definitely fun.... kidding...
my second class got cancelled so i'm just hanging out at school.

i feel very out of place here.
a lot of different people here, but none that i really relate with.
but i know i am here for this time, and i will give it all i've got.
i made a friend named Chaeyeon. she is probably the only foreign student here in this tiny little college, and God smiled at me when He sat me next to her in class. she is from South Korea. we talk about the world a lot. and traveling. and i guess she's seen me reading my bible because she brought up martyrs the other day. crazy, crazy stories. if you think about it, pray for my friend, that God would give me open doors to talk to her about Him.

i've just spent the last 20 minutes flipping through the ywam montana site.
i'e watched all their videos.... go watch them here.
haha, they give me a small glimpse of that place...
i don't even know if i am going there in april, but i sure hope so.
my heart is there.
i should know within a week and a half.

hurry, hurry, hurry, week and a half. 

the past 3 days have been sooo long. :)

about 5 weeks until southeast asia.
selling scarves and having a garage sale this weekend.
trying to raise that money.
good thing my god owns the world.

that's all for now, folks.
off to get things done!

have a lovely thursday.
xo xo xo.

/. \ ' / . \ ' / . \ ' / . \ ' / . \ ' / . \ ' / . \ ' / . \ ' / . \ ' / . \ ' / . \ ' / . \ ' / . \

5:45pm

they just called.

found the voicemail...

i got accepted.

:)

good

good

day.

God is faithful.

enough.

jesus is enough.


"Just to know that You are near is enough.
Just to know You & be loved is enough."

but is it really?
for me, it is really?
is Jesus really enough for me?
that is the question of my heart today.
i know the truth, but what does my heart believe...

Jesus is beyond enough.

& i am thankful for that today.
because i know that no matter what happens with
work
ywam
relationships
church
trips
school
my health
food
music
family
the future
...
just knowing him is enough.
today he is enough.
because His mercies are NEW every. single. day.
and He has saved me.
and i will have Him for eternity.
He is my reward.
not heaven.
not riches.
not health.
not even eternity itself.


but HIM.
He is my reward.

& today... that is enough for me.

rainy day.

it's a rainy day here.
and i am off of work.
so i'm watching some sleepless in seattle & cleaning the room today.
i need to de-clutter! gearing up for a garage sale to raise money for my trip.
plus... i have too many things. i want to live more simply.

had a burrito date with my dad this morning. it was great.
we talked about jesus, my favorite thing to talk about. :)
i love my dad.

i sent the last of my ywam papers off this morning.
so now it's waiting time! i'm ready to hear from them.

love.

oh, blog.

how i like coming home to you at the end of a long day.

:)

life is good.

i am a blessed girl.

but life around here has been kind of weird lately...

i know it won't always be this way. just a season, probably.

maybe it's school.

or work.

or relationships.

everything seems kind of out of whack, except for jesus.

i can't say that about other times in life like this.

i've always been distant from the lord so it showed in every aspect of my life.

this isn't like that. so maybe it's just a test.

or maybe the lord's way of readying me for where he is leading me.

ywam. 

april. 

5 months from now.

if i get accepted. 

haha, praying i do. but mostly just for the lord's will.

okay, time to watch a movie with my sister and mother. :)

tonight's viewing of Elvis & Anabelle.

i'll let you know what i think! 

:) good.night

waiting...

the Lord is teaching me to wait on him.


"Wait on the Lord, be of good courage
and He shall strengthen your heart."

waiting makes us stronger.
waiting teaches us to be thankful for what we have.
waiting develops patience. character. hope.

it is good to wait.

i want to be better at waiting patiently.
as a servant waits on a table, that's how i want to wait on the lord.
keeping a watchful eye. and when they ask me to do something, i do it. but not a moment before.
that's how i want to wait on my God.

job. provision. ywam. husband. 
friends. family. school. vision.

i will wait.
make me stronger, Lord.

"For He knows the way that I take,
and when He has tried me,
I will come forth as gold."

random:

no waiting tables for me today.
2 days off in a row- completely unheard of! but i'm thankful.

our se asia team had a meeting last night...
where we ate se asian cuisine,
talked about our lives and this upcoming trip,
prayed with and for one another,
looked at photos,
and lastly... made s'mores. :)

it was a good night. it made me grateful for people that follow Jesus. i have a lot of good examples set before me. i'm thankful for people that stir my affections for jesus and make me want to know him. i want to be a woman that stirs other people's affections for him, too.

i'm ready to go here:

i'm thankful for seasons today.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

  a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

  a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

  a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

  a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

  a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

  a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

  a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace."

love.

grace through faith.

It's late & I am not working tomorrow! I'm so excited to have a whole day off.... Not one thing to do. I like it. :) Right now we are watching Oceans, which is a beautiful movie. If you have a chance, do watch.

We had our bible study/small group tonight... We are in the final weeks of Radical by David Platt.

     I've enjoyed our journey through this book so far. It has challenged my beliefs, and challenged me to search out what the Bible says about true disciples & followers of Jesus.  One thing led to another & after most of the people had gone home, a few of us stayed around talking about how to share with lost people, how God uses terrible situations in life for His glory, etc. A friend of mine was struggling with the question of... What if it honors God more for me or you to go to hell if our going to hell means that countless other people get to be in heaven? Does this mean some are just not going to be saved? & this really made me think... I mean, even in the Bible... there's Goliath. Didn't God's heart desire for Goliath to be saved? & yet... God was glorified when Goliath was killed. Same with Pharaoh. It says that God hardened his heart. And with countless other wars and victories. People were defeated and God was glorified through their death. It makes people wonder, you know? Especially if doubting your salvation has been a struggle of yours in the first place. I mean, by the Bible we know that we are saved BY GRACE - THROUGH FAITH, and that was a gift from God... Not by works so that no man can boast. Isn't doubt of salvation maybe in some small way thinking that YOU did something to be saved in the first place? OR that you CAN do something to make sure you are saved? I know that is not the truth. Obviously. I mean, the Bible says so. It also says that ANYONE that calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved. If you are out there reading & have any sort of insight, please put in your two cents. :)  Also... There's the whole issue for those that were "saved" at a young age. & obviously as you grow you understand more fully. I can say I had no clue what Salvation was. At least not what I know now. And based on what I know now, it's hard to believe that my salvation was true. I didn't know the complete story. But I know now. So when did my salvation occur? Do we have to have a certain point in time to look back on? Is that Biblical?  I understand now that I am a wretched sinner... completely and utterly hopeless & in need of Jesus Christ. He loved me enough to die for me. To give it all & sacrifice Himself. So that I could take on His righteousness and be a right standing with God. I have chosen to follow this God. I owe Him my life, and that is what I offer Him. All of this... I know now. But even if I know the truth now, can I have a solid faith that has a faulty foundation? I started my faith on the understanding of:  I'm a sinner. Jesus died so that I could be with Him in heaven. That's all I knew at 6 years old. I believe with all that I am that God knows my heart. He knew my heart when I was 6 years old. Why has doubting salvation been such an issue? I lived with it for years. I know Satan longs for us to be isolated. Idle. Ineffective. He is a scheming little guy, isn't he? Bleh. I also know my God is victorious. The enemy has already been defeated. He was defeated when Jesus conquered death. Which gives me hope for this whole question in my soul.

    This topic brings up another thought in my mind and something I've been wondering about. I am terrified about how people are growing up in church, what they are being preached, and mostly what they are understanding and interpreting salvation to be. I'm scared that we as the American church have made salvation into a system or formula of sorts. You got your ABC's... Admit, Believe, Confess. 3 simple steps and you are saved! Bam. Then there's the whole walking down the aisle thing. There's also the bow your head thing.... where you repeat a prayer word for word & then you are now saved. I don't hear about a lot of churches preaching the true gospel anymore. I know I grew up on these man-made principles. They scare me. It scares me to think that people are growing up in this. No one really mentions the taking up your cross daily. The counting on Jesus alone to save you part...  It scares me to imagine what type of Christians we are raising up by what is being preached. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's not being preached at all. There are some, praise Him. I just know what it's like to be a screwed up child of a lot of legalism and religion. I grew up to be a pretty good pharisee. Praise God that He has brought me to points of understanding and really just showing me WHO HE IS. I'm thankful for that. He knows what He's doin'! :) This is definitely an issue I will be praying about. I know I want my future children to grow up to know the true Gospel. I want to have children that know and FOLLOW Jesus with their whole heart. It's our duty to speak and preach the true Gospel that is Jesus Christ.

Bottom line is... 

I trust in God alone for my salvation. 

Nothing I can do or say. All Him. There are a lot of things I don't completely understand about salvation, a lot of things I am still working out. & I am willing to wrestle. I am willing to seek my God for answers and peace and understanding.  I trust Him.

Alright...

I could keep typing and typing and typing...

But I think I've bored you long enough.

Whoever "you" are that reads this. :)