montana bound.

wow, this day came fast!

almost too fast. but i'm excited.

i'm sitting in an airport in new mexico en route to Montana. i'm ready to see that place & those faces.

i think i'm equally sad & excited. it's very bittersweet. leaving home would probably be a lot easier if i wasn't really happy there. i love home. i love texas. i love my family & dear friends. 

but as sad as i am, i also know this is right. i've reminded myself of that a thousand times today, because it's pretty impossible that i am able to go, but God worked it out. not only money-wise, but a hundred other things, too. this is right. this is where i'm supposed to be. & i am blessed to be able to be a part of what God is doing in Montana & around the world. very blessed.

thank you for reading, for loving, for supporting, for praying, and for being my friend.

love you all.

"For the LORD God is our sun and our shield.

He gives us grace and glory.

The LORD will withhold no good thing

from those who do what is right."

psalm 84.11

so thankful for the birth of Jesus. that little baby who was born a Savior of the world.
immanuel-- [finally] god with us. flesh. blood. breath.
through his birth, life, death & resurrection, i have been crucified with Christ & reborn in Christ.
jesus came & fulfilled the law because we couldn't.
no matter how hard we tried. it was never our work he wanted, but our hearts.
we needed him. we still do.
so reminded of the beauty of the Gospel & how much greater it is than we realize.
grace is greater than we realize. jesus is better than we realize.

through this baby boy, i have been adopted as  a child of the living God.
there really is no greater pleasure for me in this life right now...
to know Who i belong to.
to know that he gave me a name. a meaning. an identity.
to know my name is on written on the palm of his hand: beloved.
it's too good.

we have a loving God.

he's crazy for our affection, crazy in his love for us, & crazy in his glory.

merry christmas, lovelies.

Music for the Mission

yesterday was one of the busiest days i've had in a long time... it was awesome.

i was running around all over town trying to get everything done 

for my fundraiser show that was last night. 

there were just a lot of random things that needed to happen.

i was driving around town & i asked myself,

"why am i doing this? why are we doing this?"

not in a bad way, like it was irritating me or anything, i was just thinking about it...

& then god spoke to me.

he put the great commission on my heart which talks about going and making disciples of all nations.

it was so awesome, because that's what last night was ultimately about at Music for the Mission.

it's cool because there are so many countries represented by the students that live at ywam montana.

& i get to be a small part of discipling students over there. 

that alone is a tiny part of making disciples of nations.

and not only that, but we get to go to other countries and make disciples there, too. 

we get to share the best news of all time with people that don't know Him.

that's what last night was about.

i am blessed and humbled that i get to see God working to bring people to Himself.

and everyone that came last night & gave $5 (or more) to come listen to some music,

all of them were a small part of fulfilling the great commission.

that's awesome... & makes my heart happy.

i am blessed by these friends of mine.

god's been good to me.

"Therefore, go & make disciples of all nations, 

baptizing them in the name of the Father & of the Son & of the Holy Spirit, 

& teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. 

& surely i am with you, even to the end of the age."

Matthew 28:19-20

come to this. it's gonna rock.

things that cost $25: number 4

pocket change for a month = $25.

guess what?? that means less than a dollar a day!

you can take all of that random change you accumulate every day,

save it up, & use it to support a missionary. voila! $25 a month!

It's down to   27 days

until I head to Montana to start staffing Discipleship Training Schools for Youth With A Mission (YWAM) for 2 years. 

This is a full-time volunteer position so I'm raising support to be able to go...

I need 14 more people that are willing to become one of my supporters by committing to give $25 a month to my mission & to pray for me. Just pray about it, & if you feel like God is leading you to do so, let me know. I can hook you up with the info or you can give online HERE. I promise, you will never know how much I appreciate it. 

I love the Gospel, & I am so excited to be a part of seeing student's lives changed through it & to see people come to know him all over the world as we go out to share the good news of Jesus!

I also want to say THANKS to those of you who have already given toward my ministry! 

I'm so grateful for your generosity & I am blessed your support.

xo

things that cost $25: number 3

3 movie tickets = $25.

instead of spending $25 to go to a movie in the theater,

you & your friends can rent a movie for $1 at Redbox, pop some corn from the cabinet

& support a missionary kid with the money you would have spent at the theater.

Right after Christmas, I'm trying to head up to Montana to serve with YWAM for 2 years.

This is full-time volunteer position, so I have to raise my own funds...

I will need a minimum of $500 a month, which covers food, housing, extra expenses, etc.

I will not be able to support myself, so I'm asking people to pray & ask God if He might have you become one of my monthly supporters.

If I can get 18 more people/families to give $25 a month, 

I will be fully supported!

For me, this is all about others coming to know Jesus. while in Montana, I'll be discipling students who come for 5 month discipleship training schools, and leading groups of these students to other countries to tell people about Jesus. I know God did a lot in my heart as I went through this school and to India with YWAM, I believe he wants to do amazing things in the hearts of the students and in other nations and i am thrilled to be a part of it.

If you feel led to support me financially, you can go to paulann.org/give or contact me for more information. All donations are tax deductible. 

Just leave a comment or email me at justdandyy@gmail.com

I love you guys! thanks for reading.

click here for more info:

ywammontana.org/dts

number 1

number 2

giving thanks.

i don't want to be a person who chooses to be thankful one day a year.

may i learn to see the beauty, grace & gift all all things.
big & small. every single day for the rest of my life.
learning to view all things as gifts leads you to thanksgiving,
which leads to joy.  in every season of life, in every high & low,
lord, teach me to give thanks.
to rejoice in every circumstance,
to rejoice in all places of life.

the deeper your thanks, 
the greater your joy.

ps. i'm obviously reading 1,000 gifts right now. great book.

just another day..

i'm learning so many things right now.

one being that god really does give us a new measure of faith to walk through the next task he's asking of us.

we can't lean on our past experiences. trusting him is always a leap of faith.

i'm learning that obedience can sometimes mean just waiting.

a crisis of belief can almost make you insane sometimes...

it's so easy to lose focus & start looking at how impossible the whole situation seems,

because god often calls us to do things that are just plain impossible for us.

it's so easy to start to try & fix things yourself or accomplish things the only way you know how 

even though you know you can't.

it's so easy to look to others to try & fix it, too.

i have done all of these things. 

i was in church on sunday, my mind racing with all the factors 

& just realizing how tired i was of thinking.

so many thoughts.

it hit me. i know god was telling me,

    lift your focus to me.

    stop looking around you, to your circumstances or the impossibilities you see around you.

    look at me. i'm where your help comes from. i am able.

i mean really. he made the heavens & earth. he knows me inside & out.

he sees where i am on my journey of following him in life 

& he is walking me through it.

no one is able to accomplish what he is able to accomplish. 

no one is able to do what he can do.

no one can comfort me the way he can.

& no one can love me like he can.

so i guess this is just another day of learning to trust him.

trusting him when life seems unsure or i've grown impatient.

learning to trust that he is a god who delights in impossibilities.

this is another day of choosing to say, "yes, god" 

& knowing that however things turn out, 

he is still the god i know, i will still thank him in all things & i will still follow him.

i lift my eyes to the hills,

is that where my help comes from?

my help comes from the lord,

maker of heaven & earth.

ps 121

things that cost $25: number 2

ONE fast food meal for a whole family = $25.

most of you know that i recently returned home from India with YWAM &
saw God work in incredible ways while i was gone. (you can read all about it on here.)
so i applied to be on staff & be of small part of seeing other students lives changed,
& people come to know him in other countries.

right now i'm in the process of raising support to be on staff for YWAM for 2 years.

i am in need of $500 a month by the end of december.

if only 20 people/families decide to donate $25 a month, i will be fully funded!

while in Montana, i will be staffing Discipleship Training Schools. which means: 

living life with students, being a small group leader, 

& planning/leading outreaches to other countries 

(among other things i'll figure out when i get there:)).

i believe God's placed this opportunity before me & i can't wait to start serving!

please pray & see if God might have you become one of my supporters... 

the gospel will go out in the nations 

& student's lives will be radically changed as they meet with God during these schools.

if you don't sense God telling you to support me financially 

or just can't afford $25 a month or any money at all, i covet your prayers. 

they are so important & valuable, & i'm so grateful for them.

if you feel God leading you to give, let me know,

i can hook you up with information. :)

i love you guys.

thanks for reading.

you bless me.

want

Current evangelicalism has laid the altar & divided the sacrifice into parts, but now seems satisfied to count the stones & rearrange the pieces with never a care that there is not a sign of fire upon the top of lofty Carmel. But God be thanked that there a few who care. They are those who, while they love the altar & delight in sacrifice, are yet unable to reconcile themselves to the continued absence of fire. They desire God above all. They are athirst to taste for themselves the "piercing sweetness" of the love of Christ.  AW Tozer (The Pursuit of God)

Lord, i want You.

things that cost $25: number 1

5 souped up coffees from starbucks = $25.

i'm in the process of fundraising to be on staff for YWAM for the next 2 years.

if only 20 people/familes choose to donate $25 a month for 2 years... 

not only will i be fully funded,

but students will be discipled, 

and people in other nations will have an opportunity to hear the gospel.

if you feel led to give, let me know, i can hook you up with all the information.

(donations are tax-deductible.)

i love you guys.

thanks for your support through your friendship, your prayer, and your finances.

be blessed!

god sized task.

hello loves.

so the plan was originally for me to move to be on staff for YWAM in January & serve in the kitchen or something for my first 3 months & then begin staffing schools & planning outreaches in April....

but...

last night i received an email asking me to start staffing as soon as possible (which at this point is still in late December/early January) and start preparing everything for outreach. so i'll be staffing schools, leading small groups, planning outreach, praying, living with students, and so many more things i won't know until i get there... as soon as i get there.

whoa! so last night, i'm going to bed, so excited and so full of anticipation, knowing that i have ZERO money for support... but also knowing God is totally able. it's going to be an incredible journey seeing Him work this out.

i've reached the point where i realize there is nothing in my own strength, no amount of work, no job, no amount of saving (at this point)... NOTHING i can do to come up with $500/mo to support myself, let alone buy a ticket to get there! hahaha!!

so all i can really do right now is keep asking Him to provide & trust that He knows what He's doing! thankfully, i also have so many times in my life i can look back at & say "God was faithful then." & i believe that if He wants me there in January, He will be faithful to that. this whole thing is not about me... it's His deal now, i'm such a small part of it. the money is on Him, He's the only one who can prepare my heart, and He's the only one who will be able to accomplish anything for His kingdom in the next 2 years.

God is able.

$500 a month is nothing to Him.

even if it seems like a million to me right now.

i'm trusting him.

love is the burden that will carry me back home...

 i love this stuff.

hello lovelies,
i posted about this when it happened, but 4 months ago when i was in India, my friend was hit by a train & lost his leg. most of you know about this & have been praying for him ever since. there are no words to express the story that's unfolded since then... but he got his prosthetic leg last week & was featured in his newspaper today. click here to read.

the article is not all accurate,
but it's still really cool to see pictures & to hear what he's been going through.

i love our God.

thanks for all of your prayers... look & see what God's done through them.
he hears us.

love.

guatemala. part one.

god is good. guatemala was all him. i am blessed.
more later.
xo

p o t d

<3

p o t d

beauty.

the trees by Flathead Lake. 

this was in April.

<3

photo of the day.

new goal:

one photo a day from my real camera. none of this cell phone stuff. :) 

here's todays photo, which was taken yesterday out at the lake with my bff Kindall.

xo. rae

another step.

hello all.

today i received some great news:

i got accepted to staff at YWAM! 

looks like i'll be heading there in a few months!

i'm so thrilled.

it's a 2 year commitment & i'll be staffing Discipleship Training School
(DTS; the school i just got back from).
the first 3 months will be spent serving on the base & then it looks like i'll start staffing schools in the Spring. it's discipleship type stuff & leading outreaches. cannot wait.

i'm so excited to serve & be a part of what God is doing in people's lives through these schools! seriously. i can't wait to see all that God has in store!

he is so faithful, isn't He? 

let the fundraising begin...

:) 

love yall.

rae


ps. leaving for Guatemala on Wednesday! 
please keep us in your prayers. gracias.

stirring.

When you feel just like a tourist,
in the place that you were born,
it's time to go. 
& define your destination,
there are so many places to call home.
     -deathcabforcutie

how they will know.

". . . L o v e o n e a n o t h e r .

As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

By this everyone will know

that you are my disciples,

if you love one another." - Jesus

 JN 13.34-35

furious love.

we are so so so loved.

truly.

we have a Father that is so freakin' crazy about us. He loves who we are. right now.
He isn't living to love the future us, waiting for us to be who we will be in a year, ten years...
He is in love with who we are right this very minute.
in all of our mess.
He never loves us less than He does right now. He never loves us more than He does right now.
all the love that He has, He has for us right now.
we are His kids.
His little snotty nosed, scabby kneed, attention starved kids who need our Father's lovin'.
we can ask him for things we want, even if we won't always get them.
He loves when we ask. He loves when we come to Him.
when we need it, He disciplines us.
when we hurt, He hold us.
because He loves us.
He really loves us.

there are a lot of His kids out there that don't realize they are his kids. and i'm one of them.
i've realized it lately.
we spend a lot of time striving to be close to Him. striving to hear His voice. striving to be better.
striving to be more disciplined, more holy, to pray more, to read more, to spend more time at church, to volunteer more time, to be on staff at a church... we strive so hard.
i think part of that is rooted in the fact that
we do not know who we are.
we keep striving striving striving 
to be something that we already are.
we are His children.
His beloved sons & daughters.
we don't have to try. because that is who we are.
we need to chill out, to sit for even a moment and enjoy it. to abide.

we are deeply, passionately, furiously loved 
by a crazy loving God.
that's who we are.

we are loved.

listen up.

you'll like it.

you're welcome.

xoxo

it is complete.

that's right!

my application is done.

finally finished the last 11 essay questions just today & emailed those bad boys off right away.

so now, 

we wait!

i'll keep yall posted.

Other news...

i realized i haven't posted any news about my friend David lately, 

(click here for his update page, it has all of the details.)

he still really needs your prayers, so please pray if you think about him! 

i went on a little roadtrip with the James twins this past weekend. we had free tickets to the waterpark, but after one ride, we got rained out! (how does that happen? haha) but we still had an awesome time, of course. we made sure to hit up krispy kreme before heading back home. :) i love me some James sisters.

so before i came back home, i got to take some photos for my friend Jesse (that i went to India with) and his fiance Jenni. :) i like those two. they're fun & they just love each other. anyway... here are a couple of them. i'll post more later.

aren't they cute together? 

:)

anyway. that's all for now. 

thanks for reading.

have a happy wednesday.

xoxo

ps. congrats to my friends who started SBS yesterday... so excited for you!

life is good.

do i say that too much? i feel like i say it all the time, but it's true...

the past few weeks back home have been great.

i applied for a staff position at YWAM a couple of weeks ago...

my application isn't finished yet, but i should hopefully find out within a couple of weeks whether i get accepted or not. of course, i'm hoping i do! :)

but whatever happens, i know i'll be where God wants me to be, & how can i be sad about that?

i've been realizing lately that who i am is not defined by where i am, what i'm doing, what my calling is, what job i have, what people think about me, or what i think about myself. i am not defined by any of these things.

i am simply...
beloved.  

God's beloved daughter.

wow. that's good enough. for me, that means if i don't end up in ywam in January, okay. if i do, awesome! if i work in ministry, sweeet. if i wait tables again (hopefully not), cool. it just simply doesn't matter, because i am not defined by my location or my occupation. i am who i am in the Lord's eyes. my life & identity is HIM.

that's such a good thing to be learning, because it just gives you peace no matter where you are or where you're headed...

& that's what i am - full of peace.

m e m o r i e s . . .

a lot of things caught up with me yesterday & today.

it's the first time i've felt truly sad since i got back, but honestly, i'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner.

today i was thinking back over everything: leaving home in april. saying goodbye to my dad & meeting my fellow students for the first time. the weeks of snow & watching soccer games. the weeks of lectures & deep discussions & so many laughs with new friends. i thought of our trip to Seattle & the homeless man i got to talk to. i thought of outreach prep & how we always ended up dancing for some reason. (?) i thought of India... wow. India. so much happened in India. i thought of David's accident- that day we were just walking & suddenly so many things changed. i thought about the days after that & how God literally carried us through that next month & a half. i thought of all the little indian slum kids, the older ladies i fed & took to the bathroom, the things i saw, the people i met, the things i saw God do... (how can you have such mixed emotions about one period of time? such sadness, yet such joy. it doesn't make sense sometimes...) i thought of waiting in hospitals & the taxi rides & the cool volunteers at the mother teresa homes. i thought of flights & visiting David in Seattle on our way home to Montana & how joyful that day was because we were all together again. i thought of Flathead lake & the mile walk down to the docks & of course, the people i went with. i thought of coming back home & how i now have friends scattered all over the globe who share the same story that i have to tell. a story of how amazing God is. i thought about the fact that we're all still learning, growing, healing & experiencing God. we're all still continuing our journey. this was all just the beginning of something that God has started & that we've jumped into.

{ my heart is so full. }

it's full of joy, love & an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness that God led me through all of that. wow. yeah... all of it was a huge blessing. & now i am who i am today because of how i experienced Him & how He changed me during that time.

i know the same God who gave me the last 5 months of life has now given me this beautiful life back home & i have so many memories, lessons, laughs & experiences waiting for me here. i'm already enjoying it. i'm already discovering it. God is cool like that.

see? life is just... good.
everywhere i go, life is good.
because HE is good & He is always with me,
showing me what life is like when i belong to Him.

xo

busy bee.

hello, lovely people.
i'm still alive & back home. if i haven't seen you yet, email or call me, we'll get together & catch up.


the past few weeks have been great. i'm enjoying life & getting to do a lot of things i love to do.
it's kept me very busy & very happy. 

i'm perfecting my cookie-making & my crafty skills. i've learned to sew, painted a canvas, decorated my room. it's so much fun. 

here's the table i re-did for my room. :) 

a little baking action...

& of course, anabelle is always nearby. she likes cookies...

life is fun. life is good.

xo

3am.

my body insists on staying up @ least until 3am...
jetlag is still kicking my booty...
BUT
it's okay.
because life is good.

so. this past week i....
celebrated my 20th.
made lanterns for my new room.
met my 2 "adopted" foreign exchange sisters.
saw THE HELP. (so good.)
taught my brother to drive stick shift.
bought The Cost of Discipleship (by Bonhoeffer) & Bruchko (by Olson). (book reviews coming soon, most likely.)
swam.
went for a run in the 96 degree weather.
ate chickfila almost every day.
missed my friends.
enjoyed hanging out with old friends.
played guitar.
made thank you notes.
went to church.
got some fro yo.
ETC.


it was a great first week back home.


god is faithful. he works in our lives even when we don't try very hard. 
there have been times in my life where God has told me to do something & i agreed & every step of the way, it was a huge battle, but i fought, fought, fought for what i knew i had to do. & it was worth it. it taught me a lot about considering Him worthy of all of my energy, efforts, time, money, etc. BUT, i'm learning that there are also times when following Jesus is almost TOO easy... like He just lays it right out there. all you have to do sometimes is say OK. OK, i'll follow. & he literally works it out right before your eyes.
god is so good.
he's good when we struggle. he's good when we don't.
he's good all the time. he loves us & is uniquely acquainted with us. 
that blows my mind!


this week i've seen more of the changes that have taken place in my heart in the past 5 months.
god has changed me.
i've talked to a lot of people this week that know me... or know who i was a year, 2 years ago. it's humbling, because i know that they know my junk. they've seen me in my dark times. they know who i was. & it's humbling... but for some reason, i just feel such a peace. because i am new. i'm really happy to be me. my hair has no dye in it... i hardly wear any makeup anymore. & clothes, they're cute, but i just don't love them like i used to. i don't feel the need to have the newest, cutest, trendiest wardrobe. 
simple. stripped. organic. raw. REAL. 
i feel REAL. i'm not hiding behind this hair dye or makeup or certain kind of clothes. 
now i'm just... me. i'm just Raegan. 
& i'm so happy with that. because i know i am deeply, deeply loved by God. :)
that's where my confidence stems from... from knowing i am LOVED. no matter what.
Love will change you from the inside out.
i love Love & i love Jesus.


just rambling now. 
sorry for my late night randomness.


goodnight, lovely people.
xo

truth.

"God is more committed to fulfilling 

  His will for your life than you are 

                 to figuring it out. "

my new room.

i now have my own room. 

yes. for the 1st time ever in my life.

& it's pretty sweet.

i do a lot of things in here... such as:

write a ton of notes...

& play guitar late at night without disturbing anyone!!

i've been making lanterns...

& even anabelle has discovered my new hangout spot.

i like the company.

the end.

pride.

"Pride will not take the risk of loving."

new.

well, graduation came & went & all of a sudden, i'm twenty, i'm back home, & i'm sleeping in my own room.

weird.

can't believe how fast the past 5 months flew by, 

but i know that a lot of my life was lived in 5 short months.
:)

god is so good.

i've been thinking back to April 2nd & that girl who left home
to go up north.

i'm so thankful for all that God has shown me about Himself & about myself during this time.

i used to not believe that love was a real thing, & now i've experienced it.

i used to not really believe miracles happened much anymore, now i've seen hundreds.

i used to not really know who i was, now i know i'm God's beloved.

i used to avoid dreaming, thinking every dream i had was impossible or impractical,
now i'm full of dreams & i can't wait to do them.

i used to carry my past mistakes around with me, now they're gone & i'm free.

i used to compare myself to others all the time, i still do every now & then,
but no matter what, i know He loves me for who i am.

i used to believe God wanted only my obedience, now i know He wants to know me, too.

i'm not who i was.

i am a new creation.

i'm free.

:)

thanks to all of you who have supported me throughout this whole adventure... 

i can't wait to sit with each one of you & tell you as much as you want to hear. 

i'm so blessed to live life with you all & have so many loving people supporting me 

throughout all the crazy journeys god takes me on. i'm blessed by you. xo

...

last night was community night here on base, & all of the returning outreach teams shared their stories of what God has been doing in the nations, India included. :)

enjoy.

xo

love feast.

best. staff. ever.

roomies.

never know...

 team India!

swiss roomie. i love you, flo.

look at all of these amazing faces...
i can't imagine being in a different school, with different people, at a different time.
the past 5 months have been the biggest blessing of my life. & the biggest change of my life.
i'm laying my little head down tonight grateful & thankful for this life of following Christ.
i feel so blessed to have been here, have gotten to know these beautiful people,
& to have seen God do incredible, incredible things...


praise the lord, O my soul
& let all that's within me praise His name.
i will not die, i will live.
i will tell of the works of the Lord
& sing of His wonders.
He's a great God.


i get to love you through whatever comes,
how sweet it is.


nothing's going to take Your praise out of my mouth
as long as i shall live, as long as i shall live.




xo.